“No,” I said, jumping up and hopping across the room. “No. No.”“What’s wrong?” she asked.“You can’t do that.”“Sorry.”“It’s not fair.”“What?”“THAT. Again.”“What? Kiss you? I thought you liked that? We’re friends. It’s OK …”“FUCK Anna. We are NOT friends. We’re not. I mean, we are. But … you HAVE to know I love you, right? I mean, you are a smart girl. You are fucking brilliant. You KNOW I love you. I’ve never said it, but you know. You know!”“Tom …”“Don’t say it, Anna. Don’t say we’re friends. I can’t take it.”Tears were in her eyes again. I couldn’t look at her. I felt myself welling up. “But we are.”“Why, Anna? Why Clive and all the others but not me? Huh? Why not me? You want someone to love you and treat you right and be there for you? It’s me. It has always been ME.”Anna took another sip of her vodka, running her hand through her hair and pinning it back. I looked at her, briefly. I could not sustain a gaze. I was embarrassed at my emotions. I was afraid I had changed. "The dogs!" I had forgotten about the dogs in their kennels behind the on-site guard house. I was responsible for feeding and watering the guard dogs for the storage area. Going out into the back I found the dogs laying around the water bowl and their empty food dishes. All of them looked gaunt and one was so weak that he didn't move. In an automatic movement I began to get them food. Entering the kennel I checked on each dog and found them to be alright. I noticed the first bowls of food were already gone and reminded myself to feed them again in an hour so they wouldn't get sick from eating too much at once. Suddenly I realized that I was hungry too. I had not eaten anything after finding the body of the other guard. Remembering the body I swallowed and knew I had to do something with it before I released the dogs. Pulling out a rope from the shed I tied the arms of the body together and dragged it with the guards golf cart outside the gate.I didn't really know the other guard but.
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